I must first say this.
I used to blog, and I used to write very long and winding posts. I annoyed even myself. My new writing goals this year are to write what I want, without care or abandon, but only in shorter bursts. None of the mega rambling I used to do. So my apologies in advance, if a post seems to leave things hanging and needs to be continued on to another post. It is because I have instituted a WORD QUOTA for each post. (Yes, lots of rules this year, kill me now)
WHY THIS GOAL AND WHY THIS YEAR.
When I told friends about my no-shopping and decluttering goals for the year, there were usually one of two comments – one would be Wow and Why? and Why so drastic? The second comment (usually online) was that this was either their lifestyle or they had done this type of thing already. The Malaysian aka cynical side of me would go ’Sure boh?’ inside, I mean, seriously?
The nicer side of me just marvelled at that kind of discipline – I know
some people are definitely capable of being such sustainable citizens of the planet already.
I, though, am a shitty, unsustainable, weak-ass morsel who allows leeks and spinach to rot in the fridge. Who has thrown away something bought but not worn, more than a few times. I am that idiot who buys bottled water every where even though I have perfectly good water tumblers at home. I have tossed things aside when they had a hole or imperfections in them. It’s a tiny fucking hole in your top, woman, it is not a fungal infection.
Anyway, so this posting is how I’ve come to this year with this goal.
As you can probably guess, I really had enough with myself and this crazy amount of wastage that I knew was just my fault. My husband is better at this than me. I go into Tesco and suddenly feel like I am Bourdain or Chef Wan, able to whip up this and that dish this week – Oh how wonderful, let me get that galangal, let me get that fancy yoghurt to see if I can whip up a healthy curry. Healthy curry what the … what nonsense are you talking about?
The reality is that a week later I have no idea what or why is in my fridge and they look or smell rank and they need to go in the bin pronto.
My husband has a sweet face, sometimes like a baby ewok. He very rarely scolds me, but when he throws away a whole bag of veg or meat sometimes ….
He does not need to say much really, his baby ewok face turns into a WTF-KohLayChin-face. And you know full names (in proper Chinese order) are only used when you are a turd.
So yes, I was a turd often. Not a big one, but yes – a turd is a turd.
I am not living by myself anymore – somehow things were way more manageable with just my things. In this house, we have a little tornado running around, and with another on the way, I was having a little anxiety about how I would keep everything in order.
We have no help. And this is quite a big house for us! Unlike other families we know here, we haven’t even had a part-time cleaner for a long time. I have said previously I am not a minimalist, and I don’t think I could ever be one – it is just not me. But I know there is a reason why you enter a tidy and uncluttered hotel room and you feel like all sweet and happy and relaxed inside. It doesn’t have all your stupid crap, that’s why! It’s just got what it needs! Feel the zen! Feel the zen!
I know with two kids, this zen was going to be hard to find. I just had to try my best to make things more manageable, as sweet and happy and relaxed as I could make it. You know, something that does not involve this kind of beauty:
To be continued ….