No-Shopping Update

I started this challenge on the first of February. It has now been two months, and I guess I’m proud to say I have stuck to almost all my rules.

There have been no clothes, no new material belongings.

I have given a few books away as presents.

It hasn’t been that easy. I’m no big shopper to begin with, but it is definitely a change of mindset. When we talked about it recently, my husband told me he didn’t think it was a hard challenge for me at all, not shopping. I told him even though I was never that indulgent to begin with, purposefully not buying anything is not as easy as he thinks.

“Oh I have about an hour more to go till I have to go home/there, let me just wander around the shops for a bit” changes to “Ok I will just go straight home” or “What gallery can I go to that’s close by?”.

Last month an “Oh look, little tornado has started to have ‘tea sessions’ with his soft toys” automatically drew a “Oh I should buy him a toy tea set”.  I kid you not, it was so automatic. The consumerist brain – so quick, so determined – is such a dangerous thing. Doh! Why the heck would you buy him a tea set, woman! He is doing perfectly well there using the washing liquid measuring cup!

Tea parties with friends can be free you know, mommy


Don’t even get me started on the usual temptations. And the thought processes that have to do with ‘I need/I want’. I went to Paris recently, for heaven’s sake. It’s a mind fuck sometimes. I’ll leave that for another post, because it has to do with things I think are massive temptations for women. 
Notice I have written that I have stuck ‘to almost all my rules’. There have been a few lapses – although I do not place too much emphasis on them as they were not done purposefully.

For example, I have bought two bottles of water over the past two months. One was reflexive, i.e. I was chatting with our local newsagents nearby and bought it without thinking, only realising later what I had done.  The other was because I had forgotten my water tumbler and I really needed to have water by me for the work day. I guess I could blame my forgetful baby brain? Baby brain … it is real, okay? It’s like the brain shifts focus onto other things, like these feelings and emotions and shit. But like I said, I’m not kicking myself about these incidences because I really didn’t mean to. And this whale currently needs a lot of water.

We also bought take out once, from a local Indonesian restaurant. But this was because husband was ill and our household was in a bit of a state due to said illness. Otherwise we have been very good with our home cooking, sticking to our food planner and mostly making our own meals. For two months, that is a definite win. So one takeout meal is okay.

Random photo that I will pretend is about me feeling free from the shackles of consumerism. Kinda.

I’m feeling very good about this no-shopping thing, I must say.

It’s something to be proud of, and I am so much happier thinking I can spend more on travel and experiences without any of the usual guilt. Combined with Lent, where I have been giving up Facebook, fried chicken (a monster temptation) and soft drink, the whole month has felt very chilled. More simple. Clean.

I had lots of sweets in Paris though.

Oh come on, one has to live a little!

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Consumption Update #Week 1

So it’s been 10 days since no-shopping started. Here are my success and failures re my New Rules so far. For things that can’t be so easily put in these two categories, I have written them as ‘notes’.

Failures:

  • The TIME aka INTERNET time management rule: Of course this would be the thing that got me, wouldn’t it? I would add the ‘laughing till crying’ emoticon here, but it’s not really funny – I need to tweak this particular rule so that it is as practical and realistic as it is well-meaning. Firstly, after 10 days I have realised it is really hard not to comment or like posts. The reading of other news posts or articles etc was simple enough, I just read them and then went my own way. What I found difficult was that on my own posts, if I did not reply or even acknowledge comments (and acknowledging responses are done with ‘Likes!’), I felt ever so …. rude. R U D E. Like, hey fuck you, I wrote this thing but I could care less if you have something to say about that. Harder still were questions to be answered, or just continuing a harmless enough thread. I mean, I want to be better with my time, but I don’t want to end up being an asshole online with horrible net etiquette? Tweaking necessary. 
  • The one-hour a day surfing rule is tough to manage. I definitely cut my time online a lot, but still – with my busy days working or with my toddler, it was not realistic to say this one hour should be in 7-8am, or 8-9pm, or whatever. I just basically trusted myself to do 15 minutes here, 10 minutes there, and so on. Obviously, this is not realistic and unsustainable, and guaranteed to degenerate into ‘no rule at all’ if I let this continue further. Tweaking necessary. 

Notes: The times I did choose to go on messenger and Whatsapp instead to reply were a revelation. If I did answer some questions or comments on a separate platform, I inevitably caught up with people I wouldn’t have caught up with. It was both good and bad – I had some nice conversations, but they also took more time than … a ‘Like’. 

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We had so much fun at our first Chinese New Year/Tet Open House last weekend x

Successes:

  • Have not bought anything I am not meant to buy   🙂 
  • Have bought dental stuff as per directed by my dentist, and Strepsils for a horrid cough, but those were things I deemed medical.
  • Have not bought a single bottled water, it has been so nice just using my tumbler. Realise it all adds up.
  • Our biggest success by far, has been our meal planner. My husband is so pleased with the results and so am I. We have cooked on all the nights we planned, except for one. Our fridge always has what we want it to have, and wastage has been reduced greatly. The one day we did not adhere to the plan was due to husband needing to attend a work function one evening. It was his turn that night to cook bun rieu and I er.. don’t know how to cook that dish. But I had taken Little Tornado to the Transport Museum in Covent Garden, and my pregger cravings made me grab a nearby Shake Shack burger after that, so that was my dinner done.
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Our new meal planner on the fridge got a lot of attention during our open house (eh you cook BKT from scratch ah? “NOLAH PACKET LAH MAD AH”) – clearly people who cook do think about things like this too!

Notes: Which leads me to a conversation with my husband and I on Sunday, when I said I would like some KFC, could he please go to the drive thru and get me some? Friends who know me know that fast food, in particular KFC, is a weakness. I do not have a sweet tooth, I do not indulge in chocolate, I do not drink coffee and am hardly dependent on tea. I do not overindulge in anything, but I do expect once in a while to be fed the evil offerings of these evil corporations. It’s just what it is, I just can’t help it, I guess anti-KFC or fast food activists will just have to accept that. So it was to my horror when husband looked at me blankly during said request, and said: “Er. That’s take out. So … what is my role in all this? Am I an enforcer? Do you want me to help you abide by your rules, or …what?”

Oh my goodness, I gasped! Yes really, gasped, because it’s KFC, okay. I would have to tweak my rules or make them clearer.

I told him when I said ‘take out’, I really meant those times we used JustEat to order meals from restaurants, you know those meals that use tonnes of plastic packaging and all. I would feel so, so guilty every time I ordered take out – it felt I was not only lazy for not cooking, I was adding so much more unnecessary crap in my rubbish bin. “But in no way did I mean KFC!” I whined explained. It was my once-in-a-while treat. Also, I had just run 10K that morning, I moaned reasoned. I so needed my KFC! I also had to remind him that I needed no ‘enforcing’, as I am a strong, independent WOMAN HEAR ME ROAAARRRRR. (But help me get my KFC lah, pretty please?) 

Kesimpulannya:

Going well so far. But things to tweak, and a long way to go.

Next up: Update on the state of the house re tidying/clutter.